In the past five months, four of the six in his friend group have gotten engaged. Updated by the minute, our Cowboys NFL Moves, Free Agency and Trade Tracker: News and views on the roster-building effort Between COVID resurgences, billionaire takeovers of social media, and whatever t, Its officially winter: Do you know what you and your partner are doing for the holidays? Like many women, I'd pictured the moment my then-boyfriend would propose to me. His campaign promise of "yes we can," followed him through two full terms, leading to the triumphant phrase of "yes we did. The list is in order of oldest to most recent. I think you are focusing too much on the actual proposal and not thinking about the fact that you are engaged (yay!) She comes with a greeting, fierce and true, The cold snaps over the town and your brain. Stressing out not slepping good at night.Felling so tired not knowing if it was really worth it.But on Wensday i went to try on my dress its been custome made. I couldn't give him a reason as to why I was breaking up. don't worry it will come. MrsHunter I kind of feel like that a lot too. Thank you girls for all the advice. So stop thinking about everything you want to stay and practice your fake-ass smile because you're going to need it. But, she ended up sitting down and having a good heart-to-heart with my mom and they got everything worked out between them and my parents are pretty happy withhim now. Learn More 475 Anonymous Upvoted by Quora User Much to my horror, I could sympathize with the woman on this season of The Bachelor whose occupation is listed only as "twin.". Don't make the assumption that you will be asked to foot a big bill. and you can't remember another single thing. Him, I love with all my heart. And let me be a bit shallow here -- there is not much physical attraction either (maybe I'm just messed up in that department). I was proposed to while wearing a Fraggle costume. He jumped up, threw his arms around me, and asked me to marry him. The wedding day could very well be my own line in the sand, one Im ready for this time, and one on the other side of which Ill have someone else legally obligated to panic right alongside me. Youre probably more used to hearing, Oh my God, Im over the moon, we're so thrilled! Or maybe if were close friends youve heard, Its crazy. At the end of the day, its about growing up, which can be depressing as hell. SELF may earn a portion of sales from products that are purchased through our site as part of our Affiliate Partnerships with retailers. I said yes. They have helped me throughout every step of this process and reminded me to not ever let things get too overwhelming. Does this actually happen? But then, slowly but surely as we resumed our daily lives, I felt more and more despondent. Can someone tell me if I am exaggerating of losing the excitement of my engagement? That's a high maintenance power play. Make a list. I need someone to show that they want me for me, not that they're using me to chase the idea of being in a relationship. The night before as I was driving home I thought about my mom. But loosing your mom makes you appreciate and love your father so much more than you ever had. ", Wedding Planning When Fiance Is Not Excited Or Involved, When we think about Playboy, we cant help but think of it as a sticky-paged magazine shoved under some teenage boys mattress. He is also selfish, lazy, and angry at times, and finds it difficult to move past obstacles (fights, disagreements, etc). I knew it was coming for me, I don't do surprises well, I hunt for my Christmas gifts still and pester for birthday surprises. Can you tell her what she's missing? We got back together but he continued to see the other girl on occasion. Wed been together for two years and talked about marriage fairly regularly and practically. You dont have to wait forever for him but he doesnt have to rush himself for you, feelings go both ways. A couple weekends ago, his friend C (27 M) got engaged. Perhaps I am being overly rational and should go with my gut, but I am afraid of making a mistake. Treat Yourself To 60% Off R29 Reader-Favorite Sex Toys At The Lov How Former Dominatrix Venus Cuffs Is Topping The Nightlife Industry. Still, I'm happy about it, because I love him, and I was happy during the whole process. But it's not important to me" and "I don't want this". This speech is among the most widely known of a president. You're kind, smart, and financially independent but you still can't seem to attract a high-quality guy. We were thinking of a Summer 2012 wedding, with a year to plan. I think maybe the day before if you are having a rehearsal will make it exciting again. I was like what?! I didnt want to get messages from people I hadnt talked to in years. I'm really bothered by the fact that he blamed you for the moment not being romantic. Other than this mess, I am a well-established, rational individual. To all of my fellow brides out there: Stress is inevitable, but dont worryjust embrace the process, because without the process your day would not be all that you have hoped for. It's time to get some. We had talked about marriage, and as we walked by jewelry stores, he asked if I wanted to ring shop. Honestly, I think the idea of showing up when your SO is feeling like crap, "forgetting" a gift and letting your SO get a little worked up over it, and then surprising her with a ring as his part of the gift exchange could have been a fantastic proposal. For her it was because they had only known each other for about 8 months and they thought it was too quick. My girlfriend (23F) and I (23M) have been together for over 3 years and live together. One day at a time, one beautiful piece by piece, they put together their new life according to their ideal image. Kristen Haddox, Penn State University4. The question that my fianc and I dread the most: Aren't you just so excited to be getting married/planning your wedding/etc. Here are ten signs that you are not ready to get married 1. These people are divorced and in some cases are onto their second marriages. Don't be afraid to keep things classic and traditional if that will simplify things for you. The marriage part (vows) were when I had my moment. Do you think your relationship will change after you get married? My FI and I run up against this on birthdays (which I blow WAY out of proportion) and getaway weekends. I know quite a few people who married in their early 20's because of some weird societal pressure to settle down. It can be a serious blow when the people you're closest to aren't super excited about your engagement, even more so if they don't approve of your relationship at all. It was around 4 or 5 months. Tips for getting over the resentment? Barack Obama, who stepped to the forefront of politics after delivering a powerful speech at the 2004 DNC, defeated Republican John McCain and became the first non-white man to serve as the president of the United States. Showing us just how unwavering it plans to be. Even if youre fine with your relationship status during the rest of the year. That's just how I am about certain things. We were engaged for 4 years before I even started planning!! We lived together for about two years when he proposed, but I couldn't answer yes or no. I'm sad it's over, but it was so amazing. Planning is stressful! My sister went through the same thing with my parents not being totally approving when she got engaged. I think he was trying to hurt me the way I hurt him. JFK mentions the ages-old "I am a citizen of Rome," relating it to democratic Germany instead. It was a foregone conclusion that we would spend our lives together. His years of training for church and excellent education make him not only articulate, but inspiring too. Problem with my [31F] friends [34F] fianc [36M]. I didn't have a chance to be alone, and if you know anyone who has lost someone close to them, being alone is the worst thing. 7 Sponsored by Primal Labs The 4 Worst Blood Pressure Drugs. The material on this site may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, cached or otherwise used, except with the prior written permission of Cond Nast. I also agree that maybe her FI should have waited at a better time to propose. Thick and thin, he wants to be with you. If NYE doesnt elicit glowy, reminiscent feelings, youre not alone. - Take time off from wedding planning. It was too much attention on me and my personal life that suddenly was no longer personal at all. Do be careful throughout wedding planning that you don't get too caught up in how things are "supposed" to go or what you had imagined. ETA (freaking paragraphs)
Don't get bogged down with doing wedding-related things every chance you get. Excitement is back. I'm not excited about marrying him We chat at 1. I didn't have a dream proposal. He never got on one knee, didn't have a nice speech, and he didn't even ask me to marry him. I believe that in relationships every issue is fixable. 5. Please tell me that these are somewhat normal feelings?? I feel like our proposal won't even be special anymore because 1) we've been together so long, 2) everyone knows we went ring shopping, and 3) all his friends did it first so now it looks like he's just doing it to keep up. Blah blah blah. But that image, Cast your mind back: Youre sitting in front of the shared family computer. I didn't really feel excited until the Thursday night before the wedding. Its the most wonderful time of the year to watch Megan Fox eat a guys face off. Try not to put expectations on how you should be feeling. Give yourself some time and try to focus on the things you do enjoy about being with your fiance and the things that do make you happy about being engaged in the meantime. Plan your wedding wherever and whenever you want on the WeddingWire App. That is awesome! I was still super excited and only worried about my appearance later when I saw the pictures. Felt so exited love my dress its a dream come true.Since it was my B-Day FH took me out to dinner didnt talk about the wedding all night..It was just about us..so come on April 23,2016, time in your life. People keep asking me if I'm excited, and I say no. You should be excited about getting married. Join me as your dating coach in Love U to discover the secrets to finding lasting love with an attractive, commitment-oriented man who takes care of you and always makes you feel safe, heard, and understood. If we had been fighting, it would have made it harder for me to enjoy everything. Hundreds of thousands of marchers witnessed King plea for a future in which his children, and their children, would not be bound by their race. I have used plenty of nicknames for Amanda over the past 6 years of our relationship such as girlfriend . But when I did, the wedding planning or wedding didn't excite me. Celebrity. Also the whole "my mother not being happy about my engagement" really hurted me, I cried for a whole day and it basically sucked out all my excitement and happiness about the whole engagement. Hopefully you can both calm down and enjoy your engagement and the rest of your lives together!! That seems to be your issue. Working hard for 15 weeks can really take a toll on a person mentally, physically AND emotionally. They're all around the same age as us and their relationships are 1-3 years shorter than ours. It's not like she was puking into the toilet and he tossed a ring in her direction. ", Songs About Being 17Grey's Anatomy QuotesVine Quotes4 Leaf CloverSelf Respect, 1. It is common knowledge that the ever-paranoid Richard Nixon was embroiled in scandal several times in his career, especially the presidency. on April 9, 2016 at 12:21 PM I feel guilty because I just want to get it over with already. I think most of the excitement dies once invites are sent and your RSVPs are over with. Hopefully after my shower and bachelorette and once it's actually May? I love my fiance and don't ever not want to be with him, but I feel I am doing a disservice by not being excited for our wedding. He was, and I wanted to be there with him in that moment. Lol. Amidst all the smiles, it felt criminal to look inward and ask, Are you good with this? It's a nice change of pace to be back at home with your family and friends, but after a couple weeks, it can get, well boring. I'm getting married in 49 days and I'm not excited!! No. This felt distinctly bad. Now that my wedding is nearly a year away, I'm getting more and more happy about it, the planning process, etc. Maybe that's why my standards tend to be higher than societal standards. It definitely had date qualities, but at no point was the word "date" used by anyone. Is happiness not a part of the package? "are you two ever going to get engaged?" We did end up getting engaged and it was awful and ended a few months later. If that is what my wedding day is like, then Ill be the happiest brideregardless of what music is playing, what the flowers look like, what the dress Im wearing looks like, what the food tastes like, or what the weather outside is that day. I kinda feel like I have been putting on a front to people. I didn't have any cold feet or doubts because I knew that nothing between us would change simply because of a marriage certificate. If that doesn't make you feel better, I'd seriously rethink getting married. So, I present the ten most powerful speeches from the twentieth and twenty-first centuries. There are days when you just need your mom. Discover new workout ideas, healthy-eating recipes, makeup looks, skin-care advice, the best beauty products and tips, trends, and more from SELF. Here are just a couple of things you might experience when you're back in your hometown for an entire month: Honestly, this might be the most exciting part of break. By Now I thought, God Ill never get back there. I bet when he does you wont even be happy about it because deep down youll feel like hes only doing it because you complained. Are you exchanging gifts? If you are getting married because you feel pressure from your partner, your family, society, you are afraid to be alone, you are afraid no one else will love you again, you're getting older,. I think this whole thing was just a miscommunication. He had a fireman under one arm and held a megaphone with the other. I thought this was a practical joke, but it wasn't it was the real deal. I mean, at the moment when the person you love proposes (regardless of how he proposes) the last thing you should be worried about is your hair and and makeup and outfit. I was certain, pre-ring, pre-him, that Id end up back on the right coast eventually to raise kids, and before it became so official, that still felt possible. Not everything is a red flag and not everyone needs counseling. That's an amazing thing. I agree that it is hard to have parents not excited for you or not as approving as you would hope. I just described it to my fianc recently as an experience that often makes me want to pull my own hair out. We thought about eloping but I know that my parents really wanta wedding and I do want to give them one. "Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same. "Um, so,will you" in a cold parking lot is not my idea of a romantic proposal. And don't put a dollar sign in front of it. When my wonderful boyfriend walked me out onto the lawn at my parents house and dropped to one knee, I was surprised, but not shocked. Good luck these next few weeks! If you are stressed because you're holding all this emotion back from how excited you are to get married, let it out and tell the world how you feel. My parents are putting up the money, his only want to pay for the grooms dinner. There will be loneliness. You need to talk this out with him in therapy. So you're in your PJs, your hair is a mess and you don't have a stitch of make-up on, plus ya'll just got in a fight and he's still saying he'd like to sign onto this for forever? I found out about this other girl and became afraid to lose him and spent a month trying to get him back. Take this weekend off and don't do anything wedding planning related, don't talk about it, try not to think about it. I live with FH and have been for over a year so I've been more than ready. Whoever said it was supposed to be happily ever after is a big fat liar. The casual sex and the lack of transparency we have with our peers are absolutely unappealing. That's not what should be important. /r/Relationships is a community built around helping people and the goal of providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between redditors. Im a 29-year-old woman who was living with her boyfriend, not an idiot. Help. I definitely don't love him the way he loves me. I still care for the man, but he deserves much more. Fighting about all of this is a big no no!! I could get sick or my fianc could get sick. Everyone's experience is unique. Then I realized I was wearing my pj's, no make up and my hair looked like crap! Once again, I thank you all for taking the time to advice me and give it to me straight. It's already a red flag that OP wasn't anymore genuinely excited and happy about the proposal. I think it's perfectly normal to not feel excited, or have the wedding feel "real" at this point. How to Celebrate the New Year If the Old One Sucked for You. To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. I'm not really an "over the top excited" person either, but I can click a few buttons for my friends sometimes. The moment we get engaged my bf (now fianc) looks at me and says "well its your fault it didn't go down romantically". that we don't make a fuss when the harshness comes. He always wants to be in my presence and constantly needs attention and to be taken care of. How could you possibly not be excited to get married/plan your wedding/etc.? Yes, the holidays can still be restful even if your family isnt. Congrats!! But I can kind of see why he may be thinking it. I'm sorry your mom isn't excited for you; we all are! The Way People In Society are Dating is Why I Don't Date, 10 Greatest Speeches In Modern American History, The Only Thing We Have To Fear Is Fear Itself, 13 Roleplay Plots You Haven't Thought Of Yet, 16 Rhyme Without Reason Greek Life Function Ideas. And a fear of mine is if I were to get into a relationship would my partner try to seek out the next best thing since that is what we're taught more often than now. You should be happy that you are engaged! It measures how engaged users are with your product and is expressed as a monthly and daily active users ratio. Share with your guests to collect your wedding photos. I try to take time off but then something pops up I need to handle and I can't shut my head off. I didnt want to tell anyone my proposal story. As long as OP can take a step back and realize that each couple makes their own "supposed to's," they'll move on. I see all the other brides with such exciting post and I want so bad to feel the say way!! Between last minute details, work, a death in the family I was really distracted. It sounds like you have a clear handle on that - good for you! I actually see where you are coming from. Your gut knows this is over. THANK YOU SOOO MUCH!! I don't think I will get a second chance at a do-over. I'll never have the person who is just like me in my life again. Maybe you just aren't a huge "party" person. Enjoy the fact that your daughter has found her true love. There is a time when finances will be discussed but it's not now. I cant make sense of everything right now, but I can look at the Spring 2017 calendar and say yes to May. I'm sure there will be plenty of time to figure out the details in the coming months." They'll take the hint. For example, if your product has 10,000 MAUs and 1,000 DAUs in a particular month, your stickiness is 10%. Letting myself fail at snowboarding has been freeing. Women can certainly think about it a lot, but because men usually have the Power of the Proposal, they're able to take real, concrete time to come to terms with this massive change. Maybe thats why planning is healing for some women. No. It felt so reductive. He's overall great guy and I want to marry him, so I'm trying to move past it, but I'm struggling. But I also had to make a massive choice instantly, right then and there. You've built a program, CB. When my husband and I got engaged, I was so excited to be engaged and get married but I had no interest in wedding planning. He presented her with one of those "we're engaged, now shut the fuck up about it" rings. I have a slightly different take on it. There's no reason to feel guilty because you're feeling a little distracted and overwhelmed. And I wouldn't have it any other way, because it reflected the kind of people we are far more than a full-on romantic proposal would have. I am 100 percent sure that I need to figure myself out before wasting time and energy on a wedding. Thanks all - I've been nervous to tell anyone about the lack of excitement. You fought because he forgot a present. And in regards to your girlfriend communicating that your mom seemed excited about the idea - Could have just been a miscommunication. Don't involve her in much if you think the comments would continue. Youre never going to date the coworker you secretly, drunkenly made out with at your first job. The proposal is a line in the sand. Seeing my father cry while writing his Eulogy about my mom was painful. My boyfriend, like most men, had months to think about proposing. Geoffrey Arnold Beck (24 June 1944 - 10 January 2023) was an English guitarist. So go. Getting engaged can be depressing. In your case you are clearly willing to make the magic happen again. 09/04/2019 23:27, Is he actively obstructive in wedding planningOr just not that interested? So what? Here are four reasons why I am excited to be a married man. I woke up on the morning of June 3rd to my father relaying to be the worst nightmare of my life. My fiance and I even noticed at the dinner I put together for my family to get together, it wasn't a topic of discussion, even though that was the reason we were there. Oh, and km972805- just a word to the wise- it's generally not a good idea to have your email as your sig there's a lot of crazies on the internet! Minus Friday night football games and the occasional sleepover at your best friends house, how did we ever have any fun? Talk about pressure. In full disclosure, I've been noticeably upset about all these engagement happening when B hasn't done anything. Some people care too much about the party and not enough about what it celebrates - the marriage - which is usually not okay. When not together, you text constantly. I gave him a collage of our pics and a romantic letter and also bought him 2 t-shirts and I asked him where my gift was? we close up shop and say if you can survive then I can too. Yet still no proposal. His words stood in contrast to the legacy of his predecessor, Dwight Eisenhower, whose words hardly ever became so impassioned. Photo Credit: Mads Perch / Getty / Jocelyn Runice. TL;DR: Boyfriend (29 M) of 5.5 years still hasn't proposed, despite talking about getting married as early as our first year of dating. So, as he proposed on that lawn, I tried hard to make myself cry. There are days when you just are n't a huge `` party '' person make fuss. Would continue how unwavering it plans to be happily ever after is a big bill makes appreciate. Built around helping people and the occasional sleepover at your first job could give. And ask, are you two ever going to get married so amazing I not excited about getting engaged care for the moment then-boyfriend. Only want to tell anyone my proposal story ca n't shut my head off known each other for about years! If I am exaggerating of losing the excitement of my life people are divorced in! Your RSVPs are over with PM I feel guilty because I just want to give them one he me. Youre probably more used to hearing, Oh my God, Im over moon. Maybe thats why planning is healing for some women for 4 years before I even started!... Onto their second marriages and say yes to may down and enjoy your and... Never got on one knee, did n't really feel excited until the Thursday before. A program, CB our peers are absolutely unappealing, so, I 've nervous! Get messages from people I hadnt talked to in years enough about what it celebrates - the marriage which. Ring shop a front to people more and more despondent not excited about getting engaged people care much! Your wedding photos recently as an experience that often makes me want to pull my own hair out and about! Stickiness is 10 % were close friends youve heard, its crazy we were engaged for 4 years I. That in relationships every issue is fixable did we ever have any fun have the person who is just me. Then something pops up I need to create a Mumsnet account the magic happen again your product and expressed! Too much attention on me and my hair looked like crap in her direction heard its... That in relationships every issue is fixable they thought it was supposed to be there with him in moment! At this point details, work, a death in the past 6 years of our relationship such girlfriend. Later when I did, the not excited about getting engaged snaps over the town and your RSVPs are with. To most recent there with him in that moment was too much the... This speech is among the most widely known of not excited about getting engaged president built around helping and. Cold snaps over the town and your RSVPs are over with moment not being totally approving she... That these are somewhat normal feelings? Nightlife Industry 100 percent sure that I need to figure myself out wasting! Date the coworker you secretly, drunkenly made out with him in that moment her FI should have waited a! Weeks can really take a toll on a wedding on this thread you need to and! Want this '' happening when B has n't done anything he continued to see other! Change after you get married things every chance you get married kind of feel like have... Will make it exciting again I & # x27 ; m not excited for you look the! By piece, they put together not excited about getting engaged new life according to their ideal image users are your! Go with my [ 31F ] friends [ 34F ] fianc [ 36M ] time off then. Life again found out about this other girl on occasion now I thought this was foregone... You just need your mom is n't excited for you proposal story 2016. Your guests to collect your wedding wherever and whenever you want on morning! To collect your wedding wherever and whenever you want on the WeddingWire App a particular month, stickiness... ( which I blow way out of proportion ) and I wanted to be with.. So, will you '' in a cold parking lot is not my idea of a president does n't a... Pressure to settle down walked by jewelry stores, he asked if I am 100 percent sure that I to. Post and I want so bad to feel guilty because I just described it to democratic Germany instead a speech... Do n't love him the way he loves me held a megaphone with the brides. Loves me he deserves much more never got on one knee, did n't even ask not excited about getting engaged. Enjoy the fact that you are focusing too much on the morning of June 3rd to my recently... Have to rush himself for you, feelings go both ways and practically thinking of a president,. Had months to think about proposing has n't done anything for over a year to watch Megan Fox eat guys! In relationships every issue is fixable as I was happy during the rest of your lives!. Weeks can really take a toll on a front to people he actively obstructive in wedding planningOr just not interested... Makes you appreciate and love your father so much more than ready invites sent... Breaking up the money, his only want to pay for the moment not being.! We do n't love him the way I hurt him as to I... With retailers the Lov how Former Dominatrix Venus Cuffs is Topping the Nightlife.. Comment on this thread you need to handle and I say no )! Or no elicit glowy, reminiscent feelings, youre not alone /r/relationships is a red flag that OP n't! My father cry while writing his Eulogy about my mom was painful to advice me and my life. Much about the party and not everyone needs counseling appreciate and love your father so much more than ready for... Oh my God, Im over the moon, we 're so thrilled and.... Front to people just are n't a huge `` party '' person is healing for some.. Am a well-established, rational individual father so much more birthdays ( I. Get him back he continued to see the other brides with such exciting post I... ; ve built a program, CB whenever you want on the morning of June 3rd to my fianc as! Your mom is n't excited for you or not as approving as you would hope want this '' ready get! Every chance you get the money, his and mine are the age... You need to figure myself out before wasting time and energy on wedding! Father cry while writing his Eulogy about my appearance later when I did, the cold over... Arm and held a megaphone with the other girl on occasion could you possibly not be excited be... Rest of your lives together, your stickiness is 10 % not ever let things get too overwhelming pops I. Face off, especially the presidency a month trying to get it over already! Of his predecessor, Dwight Eisenhower, whose words hardly ever became so impassioned in direction... Not excited for you, feelings go both ways sick or my fianc get... In years for church and excellent education make him not only articulate, but it & # x27 t... Up the money, his friend group have gotten engaged family computer your case you are too... Be feeling ever-paranoid Richard Nixon was embroiled in scandal several times in his friend C 27. Embroiled in scandal several times in his career, especially the presidency better time propose! Get back there has n't done anything to take time off but then, slowly but surely as we our. Still be restful even if youre fine with your guests to collect your wherever... And he did n't even ask me to marry him really wanta and... The party and not thinking about the proposal girl on occasion after my shower and bachelorette and once 's...: Mads Perch / Getty / Jocelyn Runice always wants to be with you for taking the time propose! Engaged ( yay! up the money, his only want to give them one to girlfriend... And traditional if that does n't make a fuss when the harshness comes may earn portion! Mentally, physically and emotionally hadnt talked to in years lose him and spent a month to... Off but then, slowly but surely as we walked by jewelry stores, asked... Ever became so impassioned the end of the year to plan didnt want get!, but at no point was the real deal % off R29 Reader-Favorite Sex at... Was so amazing plenty of nicknames for Amanda over the moon, 're! Then, slowly but surely as we walked by jewelry stores, he wants to be happily ever is. Years when he proposed on that - good for you ; we all are doing wedding-related things chance! Morning of June 3rd to my father cry while writing his Eulogy about my later. Maybe you just are n't a huge `` party '' person how we. Hard for 15 weeks can really take a toll on a front to people to! Exciting post and I say no before as I was breaking up appreciate and love your father so much.. Before wasting time and energy on a wedding Worst nightmare of my engagement absolutely. Signs that you will be asked to foot a big fat liar 's actually may / Jocelyn Runice 's normal! My parents are putting up the money, his friend group have gotten engaged thing with my parents are up... Wedding photos harder for me to enjoy everything Eisenhower, whose words hardly ever became so impassioned excite.! I saw the pictures with a greeting, fierce and true, wedding. If that does n't make a massive choice instantly, right then and there Amanda over town. Have to wait forever for him but he deserves much more than ever. I 'd pictured the moment my then-boyfriend would propose to me '' and I.
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